Thursday, August 21, 2008

Our Date with Hockeywood...

Buon Giorno. Welcome to the Waikiki Hockey Ristorante.

Today we won't be deciding which tantalizing meal to have but instead which hockeywood power couple we would like to share that meal with.

We're not looking to see who is the best looking couple or who has the most money or power. We are trying to determine which hockeywood couple would be the most interesting to have a dinner conversation with. We are able to invite both current couples and couples from the past as we recently picked up a flux capacitor online.

We plan on visiting the ristorante once a week where we will take a closer look at another five couples ... so make sure you check back into Waikiki Hockey regularly to see who gets selected for our dinner date. Click here to see our second visit.

Let's get started ... in no particular order:

Tara Reid and Sergei Fedorov – Briefly dated in 2004
In 1999, Tara was a pretty big thing. She was one of the stars of the popular teen movies American Pie, Cruel Intentions and Van Wilder. Since then her star has faded. She’s been in a bunch of movies you have never heard of, did the odd guest spot in a sitcom and even got naked in public on more than one occasion ... classy!

Sergei’s career has tracked pretty closely with Reid’s. From 1990 to 1996 he was scoring at a point-a-game pace and was one of the biggest and most marketable stars in the league. His best season was in 1993-94 when he scored a massive 120 points. He has won the Stanley Cup three times and has been named to six All-Star teams. Since the lockout in 2004, Sergei’s star has also faded ... now a 50 point season would look good for Fedorov.

Dinner Potential: We would love to hear some stories from the Red Wings Stanley Cup runs but we would be worried about Tara's behaviour if we happened to order a bottle of wine.

Quality Quotient: 5 (her) + 8 (him) = 13 total

Mike Comrie and Hillary Duff – Currently engaged ... we think
Being a successful movie and music star gets Duff a few extra points as most stars usually embarrass themselves in one of the two areas. She’s been in 20 movies and 10 TV shows. When you also consider she has released three major studio albums it’s looking like Ms. Duff is a pretty big star. The only problem is all of her movies and albums a horrible… in Hillary's defense, we're probably not the target market for Lizzy McGuire and A Cinderella Story. Duff’s earnings in 2007 were over $15 million which goes a long way to help us overlook her movie and music choices.

Mike Comrie was selected 91st overall in the 1999 Entry Draft by the Edmonton Oilers. The WHL product quickly became a fan favourite in the Oil when he racked up 33 goals and 60 points in only his second season with the team. His status as fan favourite quickly changed when he decided to sit out the 2003-04 season in a contract dispute … a classic douchebag move. The Oilers eventually traded him to Philadelphia (after passing on a deal from the Ducks for Corey Perry and a 1st rounder... ouch!) but not before some Oiler fans started up a nasty rumour about Comrie. Since his days with the Oilers he has played for four teams over four years …which pretty sums up his value as an NHL player.

Dinner Potential: Things could get tense with Comrie if his Edmonton exit comes up but we would like to get some financial advice from a multi-millionaire.

Quality Quotient: 7 (her) + 4 (him) = 11 total

Sheldon Souray and Angelica Bridges – Currently married with two kids
Angelica has starred on Days of Our Lives, The Bold and the Beautiful and Baywatch ... she's a very gifted actress obviously. She has graced the pages of FHM several times and has been named to FHM’s '100 Sexiest Women' list in both 1998 and 2003. If that was not enough, she is also the lead ‘singer’ of the pop group Strawberry Blonde (click at own risk).

Souray looked like he was going to be a borderline NHL player. He was six seasons into his NHL career and had a career high of only 11 points in a season. In 2003-04, he got his career back on track with a solid 35 points in only 63 games. Souray really broke through in 2006-07 season when he scored 26 goals and an incredible 64 points for the Canadiens. He parleyed the fantastic season into a $27-million dollar five year deal with his favourite team as a kid, the Oilers (a deal that Edmonton has to be regretting after one injury filled season). The jury is still out whether Souray is a big time defender or if he was just a product of Montreal’s vaunted power play (see: Streit, Mark).

Dinner Potential: Since we've just opened up the Waikiki Hockey Ristorante we would like to get a bit of advice from Souray who owns a restaurant in Montreal with Martin Brodeur. Angelica would likely have a few good Hoff stories but she may want us to listen to her CD .. that's not worth the risk.

Quality Quotient: 3 (her) + 6 (him) = 9 total

Alyssa Milano and Wayne McBean – Dated from 1988 to 1990
We’re surprised that Alyssa has only dated one hockey player. She has no problem dating sports stars as she has been romantically linked to Brad Penny, Joba Chamberlain, Carl Pavano, Russell Martin and Barry Zito. Also, since she has designed a line of clothing for, she must be a big hockey fan. In her days as Samantha on Who’s the Boss, she met and dated McBean when she was 16 and he was 19. In her post-Wayne years, she went on to star in the TV series Charmed and other than a few guest spots on sitcoms not much else.

McBean was a WHL star and won the Memorial Cup in 1987 and 1988. He was drafted fourth overall in the 1987 Entry Draft in what would amount to one of the bigger draft busts in history as McBean went on to score only 49 points in 211 games. His best season was in 1990-91 when scored a whopping 18 points for the Islanders.

Dinner Potential: Alyssa could answer a burning question we have always had: who really was the boss? On the other hand, we envisage lots of awkward silences with McBean … “What was your name again?”

Quality Quotient: 5 (her) + 1 (him) = 6 total

Tie Domi and Kelly Carlson - Dating since February 2008
Kelly is an actress who is best (only?) known for playing Kimber Henry on Nip/Tuck. We have never seen the show and have no real desire to. Not a good sign for Kelly Carlson being invited to dinner.

Domi is one of Waikiki Hockey’s least favourite players. We took great pleasure in seeing Bob Probert pound Domi to bits in the 90’s. We will try to be impartial here, but with Domi it’s very hard for us. Domi played over 1,000 games and racked up 3,500 penalty minutes. We won’t even bother telling you what his point totals were because that’s not what he got paid for. He may be a jerk, a thug and a dick but he’s definitely got some good stories to tell after his long career. Unfortunately he can't remember any of them after taking so many shots to that gigantic melon shaped head of his.

Dinner Potential: Physical harm may come to us when our dinner conversation exposes our anti-Domi bias.

Quality Quotient: 1 (her) + 4 (him) = 5 total

Tia Carrere and Tie Domi - Briefly dated in 2006 (while Domi was married)
With starring roles in classic films like Wayne’s World and True Lies, Carrere was a pretty big star in the mid-90’s. Since then things have tapered off a bit for Tia. She starred in the lead role of the TV show Relic Hunter and a lot of movies most of us have never heard of.

Dinner Potential: Tia grew up in Hawaii and spent part of her life in Waikiki so we here at Waikiki Hockey would have a great conversation starter. Tia would always be welcome at our ristorante but we’re still a bit leery about inviting Domi in the door.

Quality Quotient: 6 (her) + 4 (him) = 10 total

Check out what couples we discussed in our second visit to the Ristorante.


smitty said...

Nice out on Tia! Where can I pick up one of those for the misses?

smitty said...

I meant...nice outFIT on Tia.

Waikiki Hockey said...

I have no idea. What is it anyway? A shirt? A dress? Ahhhh the 80's

Anonymous said...

Probert beating Domi? You're delusional.

niptuckfan said...

You should watch Nip/Tuck it's awesome. Julian is a hottie.

Waikiki Hockey said...

This Julian better be some kind of hot to get us to tune in.

dave said...

Excellent 'analysis'. Make me a reservation for next week.

ilikeboobies said...

I've never seen that video of Tara Reid on the red carpet. Too funny.

What a skank!

Waikiki Hockey said...

If you really do like boobies then that list is for you. Of all of the acting 'talent' only Hillary doesn't have topless photos on the net! Actually made me respect Ms. Duff alot more.